There are four types of aids that you use to communicate with your horse: your seat, legs, voice and your hands. Each aid should be used clearly so your horse can understand what you are asking him. Your hands play a very important role in your riding. They help to ask your horse to stop, turn, or slow down.
Holding the Reins
Your horse's mouth is very sensitive. Pulling on your horse's mouth can cause him to start tossing his head, pulling the reins out of your hands or become "hard-mouthed", all which can make him stop listening to your aids. You should not have a death grip on the reins and have them so short that you are constantly pulling or tugging on his mouth. Hold the reins just enough so you have contact with his mouth, but are not pulling.
Each rein should be between your ring finger and your pinky finger, go through your palm and come through your index finger and your thumb. Your hands should be in a fist, but not tight. Your thumbs should be on top facing towards your horse's ears. Keep your fists up and not like you are playing the piano.
Your Position
While riding, think about your entire position. Imagine a straight line that runs from your elbow and along your arm and down your hands all the way to your horse's bit. Your elbows and shoulders should be relaxed and there should be a slight bend in your elbow.
Also, keep your hands above your horse's withers and do not rest them on the saddle or the withers.
Your hands should be a couple inches apart and not touching each other. If your hands are together, the reins make a 'V' form thus giving you less contact with your horse's mouth. If your hands are apart you have a direct line of contact from his bit through the reins all the way to your hands.
Asking to Slow Down or Whoa
When asking to slow down or whoa, keep a steady contact with the reins. Try not to pull back so much, sit deep in the saddle and close your legs around is barrel. Squeeze your fingers tighter around the reins. If your horse does not respond to this, then try pulling slightly on the reins.
Your horse will eventually learn to slow down or whoa once you sit deeper in the saddle, close your legs around him and close your fingers. You can also to a "check and release". You can do with by slightly pulling on the reins and releasing and repeat several times until he understands the cue.
Taking Turns
When asking your horse to turn, you not only use your hands, but your leg and head as well. Ask for the turn by slightly moving your hand out away from his neck in the direction you want to go. Also, put your outside leg behind the girth and look in the direction you want to go. Do not just steady pull on the reins, use the "check and release" method, but only with the rein that is in the direction that you want to go in.
If you are turning to the left, increase the contact with the left rein and give with the right rein allowing your horse to bend into the left rein. If you do not keep contact with the left rein, he might just turn his head in that direction and not your whole body. Using your outside leg also helps to move him over into that direction.
While riding your horse, think about not only using your hands but your other aids to help you cue your horse to turn, slow down or stop. Think of it as a partnership between all of your aids. When you ask him to do something with your inside rein, remember to use your outside leg to push him into the bend and off of the fence. Remember all of your aids go "hand in hand".
Source: http://www.artipot.com/articles/1352035/hand-y-hints.htm
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